i hate my blog

words fail me

He's proved his superior intelligence by successfully hiding from humanity for years, but he's finally made a mistake...dying...
...and the hicks jumped on it.
Believe it people. What appears to be a ridiculously obvious chewbacca mask and a cheap fur coat, is in reality the real live dead body of the Sasquatch - some sort of half monkey human hybrid - caught by (who else?) georgian hicks and stuck in (where else?) a freezer.

Thanks to the faithful and always top notch reporting of FOX News, we now know that that clever monkey-man has been camped out in the georgian wilderness all these years. But his reign of terror is finally over.

This undeniable proof of the existence of the Bigfoot (previously thought to be just a really big and hairy homeless man) can be added to the already convincing evidence of blurry photographs, shakey camera shots and cardboard cutout foot prints. We can finally answer that age old question of what is smarter, some sort of human ape love child...or hicks from georgia.

Ryan, you need to stop lying to yourself and the world. For too long have you been running from your true calling in life, as an aqua-fit instructor, and for too long the world has been denied this gift. Its time to come out of the closet...the water closet as it were.

I'm glad to see this small step in the right direction.